Middlesbrough Worst Town Award
Awards For Middlesbrough..
click here.. to view the reality of life in the Executive run town
of Middlesbrough..
Middlesbrough Council
Famous Quotes..
"We will be open and honest every step of the way".. "Your home
will be valued as if NO demolition is to take place".. "I have done no wrong and
do not tell lies".. "we will treat you fairly".. "there's nasty people out there
in Middlesbrough telling lies".. "your health and safety is paramount".. "there
are NO plans".. "we envisage building up to 750 new affordable properties in Gresham
to replace the 1500 family homes we intend to demolish".. "people want semi detached
properties with garden and garages".. "we really want to demolish at least 4000
family homes by 2010, and would demolish 10,400 in total"..
Middlesbrough Erimus News
Middlesbrough Erimus.. the new Northern UK Banana Republic Social Housing Group.. reports are
coming in.. that Middlesbrough Erimus is run by people worthy of being
in Robert Mugabe's government.. or any erstwhile Banana Republic.. starting with
the Election Vote that fully deposed Deputy Mayor.. Chairman of Erimus Housing..
Bob "the builder?" Brady.. this shambles of a supposedly RSL who keep 100's of sound
and solid homes empty and boarded up.. have now culminated their total lack of democracy
and people care.. by inviting the deposed Bob "the builder?" Brady.. back onto the
Board.. going against the constitution of Erimus Housing.. as laid down by the people..
more details coming soon.. in the mean time read more..
here.. here..
here..
here..
here.. here..
here.. and
here..
Middlesbrough Election News
Middlesbrough.. the new Northern UK Banana Republic.. reports are
coming in.. that Middlesbrough Council conducted an Election worthy of Robert Mugabe..
or any erstwhile Banana Republic.. starting with the Postal Vote shambles and culminating
in fully opened Ballot Boxes with Ballot Papers inside.. going missing for hours
on end.. without restriction of access.. out of view of the public.. the latest
news from the streets of Middlesbrough.. is even the Ballot Counters employed by
MBC have announced their total disgust as to what happened during the Middlesbrough
Election Count.. it is widely believed Cleveland Police can offer no explanation
to these events.. mainly due to the disappearance of the full police presence at
the Election Count.. during the time in question.. maybe the Ghost Busters should
be called to fully investigate these apparent claims.. more details coming soon..
Middlesbrough April LDF News
Middlesbrough LDF.. the latest Middlesbrough Local Development Framework.. LDF is out.. shame MBC have not widely publicised this little factor..
again.. the first two versions of the LDF.. fell from grace of the Government for
many reasons.. the latest version is hastily being pushed through by MBC.. considering
the details within the LDF will have a direct consequence on developments within
Middlesbrough for the next ten to sixteen years.. the secrecy surrounding the impact
and importance of the LDF.. remains some what baffling.. why are MBC trying to again
sneak this through.. if it's so important to get the opinions and support of the
people.. what exactly is MBC trying to hide from the people.. more details coming
soon.. in the mean time please click..
here.. and.. here.. to
read more..
Middlesbrough Election
Middlesbrough Ghost Buster.. read the latest news from the streets of Middlesbrough.. MBC announced some 10,555 Postal Ballot Paper requests have been
delayed / gone missing / have problems.. MBC state voters should never the
less go out and vote.. this raises the question.. IF.. a person turns up at a Polling
Station claiming to be registered as.. Mr or Mrs Frederick Blogs.. a nom de plume..
to save embarrassment to the true voter.. then later in the day the real Mr or Mrs
Bloggs.. turn up to vote.. what would happen?.. would the real Mr or Mrs Bloggs
be aware.. their GHOSTS had been in earlier and voted for them?.. this opens up
a plausible way of VOTE RIGGING.. read about the Middlesbrough Postal Ballot fiasco
by clicking..
here.. listen to the Middlesbrough Election theme tune.. by clicking..
here..
Middlesbrough StreetWise Insider
StreetWise Insider.. read the latest news from the streets of Middlesbrough..
by clicking.. here..
read the latest about the massive claims in allowances by clicking..
here..
Middlesbrough Ray Mallon
Famous Quotes.. "I am Middlesbrough's first Citizen".. "the quality
of life for the people of Middlesbrough is my first and only concern" "I have the
people's of Middlesbrough interests at heart".. "I am Middlesbrough through and
through".. well then Ray.. can you explain why do you live 15 miles away from Middlesbrough
in the next County.. Ray can you explain why you have NEVER lived in the town you
claim to love.. Ray can you explain why your friends the Local Media.. will not
take up this revelation.. Ray can you explain why you appear to be telling more
LIES.. to the people.. was at least 14 prior lies not enough?.. read more about
the lies by clicking..
here.. read about Ray's home from homes - Middlesbrough..
by clicking..
here..
Middlesbrough Executive
Middlesbrough Whose Who?.. Middlesbrough who owns what watch..
Ray "You Are A Cancer" Mallon.. hoping to be re-elected Mayor of Middlesbrough..
is so proud of the Town he doesn't live in it.. "We Will Rob You Of Your Assets"
Mallon chooses to live outside of Middlesbrough.. making matters somewhat
worse.. Mallon chooses not only to live outside the Town.. but he chooses to live
outside Yorkshire.. living instead in Couny Durham.. to
read more please click..
here.. Middlesbrough people suffer hardship and desperation.. created by
continued Middlesbrough Executive greed.. assets are stripped.. lives destroyed..
for the few to gain.. listen to the people..
here.. please support the new peoples fund raising campaign.. the people
of Middlesbrough are collecting funds.. to support the existing Members of Middlesbrough
Executive.. for details of what these funds are for.. please click
here.. please
note these are ONE WAY TICKETS.. for Middlesbrough Executive..
Middlesbrough CCTV
Middlesbrough CCTV.. cameras in Middlesbrough watch your every
move.. and now shout at you.. "We Will Exterminate All Litter Bugs".. "Your Home
Will Be Confiscated".. "You Are A Cancer".. "We Will Rob You Of Your Assets".. to
read more please click..
here..
Middlesbrough Clairville
Middlesbrough Clairville.. Middlesbrough Clairville Labourless
Looney Party.. election message.. Bob I Don't Kerr has teamed up with the Labourless
Party Mayoral election candidate.. Charles Rooney the Looney.. be the first to read
their election message by clicking.. here..
Middlesbrough Beckfield
Middlesbrough Beckfield.. Beckfield Labourless Looney Party.. election
message.. Bob the builder Brady has teamed up with the Erimus Housing Company..
to be the first RSL in history to destroy more sound and solid housing.. to get
at land value assets.. than any other housing concern in the UK.. maybe even putting
the antics of the renowned property tycoon Van Hoogstraten.. to shame.. read about
Van Hoogstraten.. here..
read the Beckfield election message by clicking.. here..
Middlesbrough Property Prices
Middlesbrough Terraced Property Prices Soar.. Middlesbrough
Town Centre TS1 Terraced Housing prices soar.. whilst New Build Appartment prices
tumble.. Latest Middlesbrough News - Housing Market Failure.. strikes Middlesbrough
- Flats Apartments Studios.. Housing Crash - the above can't be given away.. Property
Speculators who played the New Build Middlesbrough Housing Market.. struggle to
get sales or rental income on investments.. new build prices tumble due to over-supply..
Middlesbrough Town Centre Terraced Housing Prices Soar.. the latest theme tune for
Middlesbrough Property Investors and Estate Agents is.. WHO'S SORRY NOW.. listen
to the theme song.. by clicking..
here.. Middlesbrough TS1 Terraced Housing Owner
Occupiers.. are advised to sit tight and watch there housing asset values grow and
grow.. get prior details..
by clicking here.. and
here..
Middlesbrough Gresham
Middlesbrough Gresham.. Labour Party.. aka.. The Gresham
Labour Joke Party.. spin more deceit and lies around Gresham.. Party Members tour
Gresham in sad attempts to fool the residents.. are now teamed up with the Public money
earning Spinners.. read the latest by clicking..
here.. breaking Gresham news.. read the latest by clicking..
here.. listen to the new Middlesbrough Labour anthem.. by clicking..
here..
Middlesbrough Casino
MBC.. MBC TVR going for gold.. the bet has been placed.. is
your Council Tax money safe?.. more details coming soon...........
Middlesbrough Labourless Party
Middlesbrough.. has been declared.. to be one of the first.. of many
UK towns.. to be Labourless to survive.. Middlesbrough with the new outlook of
ZERO tolerance.. to the flawed continual Labour SPIN.. sustainable
communities.. in Middlesbrough can
prosper and grow.. but they will never succeed under the regime of a Labour Party..
that never listens to the people.. so listen to the rallying cry of.. FREEDOM from spin.. gone are the GOLDEN
days for the few..
click here..
Middlesbrough News
Middlesbrough News.. the new magic vision for the people of Mbro starts
with a new Labourless Middlesbrough.. for this real new survival of the true people
in Middlesbrough.. YOUR help is needed.. create a new Middlesbrough
with a bright new outlook instead of old visioned spins.. it's the real people who
matter that will come first.. the new vision is of ZERO tolerance to the profit
and spin of the few.. full and true support given to the people in real sustainable
communities in the town that exist now.. instead of the few people who profit
from the many.. real hope.. not visions.. real care for the people.. not constant spin..
join the rallying cry.. freedom from spin.. gone will be the golden days of profit
for the few.. you need to support this cry for freedom..
click here..
Middlesbrough WMNT
WMNT.. aka Worst Mess National Todate.. the
MBC TVR Government funding application for £52million.. based on the "creation of
sustainable communities and employment".. public money that went WEST
quicker than visitors to Dodge-y-City.. slap up meals.. beanos for the boys and gals.. trips
away.. and the result from it all.. a row of BUS SHEDS.. renewed.. MBC Exec appear to
have a thing about building SHEDS.. over 350 houses with garden spaces gone.. ongoing demolition
of over 200 properties in rows of terraces.. worth over £100,000 each
at today's values.. to be replaced with a few dozen rabbit hutch sized flats.. prices starting
at £95,000 rising to over £169,950.. well done to WMNT.. well done to the people
of West Lane.. you have been.. more details coming soon......
Middlesbrough Mbro Boro Tees Valley
Tees Valley.. Tees Valley.. Tees Valley.. Tees Valley
Regeneration.. Tees Valley Living.. Tees Valley Housing.. Tees Valley Unlimited..
Tees Valley Airport.. Tees Valley Blog.. Tees Valley TS1.. Tees Valley Tourism..
Tees Valley Portal.. Tees Valley Indexes.. Tees Valley Sport.. Tees Valley Partnership..
Tees Valley Community Media.. Tees Valley News.. Tees Valley Arts.. Tees Valley
Wildlife.. Tees Valley Leisure.. Tees Valley Estate Agents.. Tees Valley Properties..
can the above please make contact.. to substantiate
and prove your location..
Middlesbrough Property Owners Guide
MBC Executive.. MBC going for even more gold.. the deposit
has been placed.. but is the money safe?.. exposé on buying property in Dubai..
more details coming soon.......
Middlesbrough Erimus Housing
Erimus Housing.. MBC Executive Councillors going for gold..
was the price paid?.. are these assets safe?.. exposé on the setting up of Erimus Housing.. MBC Councillors misled the people of Middlesbrough.. once again in order
that the few.. could asset strip Middlesbrough of land and property...
more details coming soon.......
Middlesbrough Planning Department
MBC Executive.. supported various demolition and new build schemes
these past years.. Middlesbrough History & Heritage style buildings demolished..
new builds on every conceivable piece of land.. including sports and school fields..
Council owned land etc.. careful analysis of purchase and sales records support
the view.. the majority of these new builds intended for the people of Middlesbrough..
have been used by property speculators.. in what appears a never ending money spinning
merry go round.. with the people of Middlesbrough being left outside in the cold..
outpriced and outdone.. MBC Exec state repeatedly.. this
is a part of "The New Vision of Middlesbrough".. well done to MBC Exec.. well done
to MBC Planning.. well done to the people of Middlesbrough.. once again you have been.. these factors of purchase
and sales of new builds.. should alarm Middlesbrough terraced home owners fearing
the onslaught of MBC Exec Bulldozers.. TS1 property prices increased constantly..
year on year.. did not MBC Exec proudly state.. ah but.. the
WRONG people are buying TS1 properties.. is this not a simple case
of MBC Exec would gladly support property speculators.. playing the "money spinning
new build merry go round".. whilst denying any and all support to the true people
of Middlesbrough?......
Middlesbrough Labour Party
Click here.. to singalong with.. BOB
DAVE and JOHN ensemble from that World famous group..
Middlesbrough
Labour Party Spinners.. by popular demand.. the time is nigh.. the run up to the
final countdown approaches fast.. can we spin our way out of here..
and all the disasters
we have created in Middlesbrough.. who can we blame.. who will carry the can.. like the song says..
are we leaving together heading for Venus.. or is that for the
polls.. will the people
of Middlesbrough still listen.. will we pay the tolls.. but is there still time to spin.. to tell more lies.. that we will at last
listen.. but in spinning that deal.. would
the people just grin.. already we hear the sound of the bell.. was that seconds out..
with all this non listening.. we just really can't tell.. into a future unknown we
sing this song as we go.. sing
with us as we plead at last we do fear.. what the people of town have been saying out loud and clear.. but let's just hide in the crowd
hoping no one will hear.. as we have done these past years.. to all the Middlesbrough people living here..
During a recent poll of Middlesbrough Labour Councillor's... the total number
of Middlesbrough Labour Party Members... stood at 28... resignations in the "post"
are not included... Middlesbrough Executive Members... Deputy Mayor: Bob Brady (Middlesbrough
Labour 1# or 2#) Economic Regeneration Culture: David Budd (Middlesbrough
Labour 1# or 2#) Education Skills: Paul Thompson (Middlesbrough Labour 1#
or 2#) Community Safety Leisure: Barry Coppinger (Middlesbrough Labour 1#
or 2#) Resources: Nicky Walker (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) Environment:
Bob Kerr (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) Childrens Services: Janice Brunton
(Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#)... Councillors without Executive portfolio:
Shamal Biswas (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) Stephen Bloundele (Middlesbrough
Labour Party 1# or 2#) Martin Booth (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) Michael
Carr (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) Garry Clark (Middlesbrough Labour Party
1# or 2#) John Cole (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) Eddie Dryden (Middlesbrough
Labour Party 1# or 2#) Javed Ismail (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) James
Jones (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) John Jones (Middlesbrough Labour Party
1# or 2#) Pervaz Khan (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) John McPartland (Middlesbrough
Labour Party 1# or 2#) Peter Porley (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) Ron Regan
(Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) Chris Robson (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1#
or 2#) Charles Rooney (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# 2# or 3#) Bernard Taylor (Middlesbrough
Labour Party 1# or 2#) Paul Thompson (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) Joan
Taylor (Middlesbrough Labour Party 1# or 2#) Linda Wilson (Middlesbrough Labour
Party 1# or 2#) Walter Ferrier (Middlesbrough Labour Party #####)... it is yet unclear
who are members of Middlesbrough Labour Parties 1 or 2... the Middlesbrough Election
swing-o-meter results for the Mayoral Elections are expected to be... all Labour
Party 1# and 2# members will be voting for the Mayoral Independent candidate...
with the exception of... that is if he manages to get his tick in the correct box...
Middlesbrough Labour Party Member 1# or 2# Charles Rooney... who is expected to
vote for the Middlesbrough Labour Party l# or 2# candidate Charles Rooney... Walter
Ferrier on the other hand... Middlesbrough Labour Party #####... is expected to
vote for Walter Ferrier...
Ray Mallon is expected to be confused as to who to vote for.. if there
is more than one piece of paper.. it is well
reported and documented.. Mallon
never reads more than one sheet
of paper.. this
revelation.. came to light during the many and continued complaints
to the flawed MBC Executive decision.. announcing town wide demolition and destruction despite
having no funds...
Middlesbrough Tees Valley Regeneration
Mallon Daily.. can we be the first to congratulate Darren Thwaites..
ex Evening Gazette Editor..
who staunchly supported all the spin about the Middlehaven Development over the
past year or so... on what appears to be his latest career move and prosperous appointment.. well done Darren.. well done the people of Teesside... well done the people of
St Hilda's.. well done the people of Middlehaven..
The proposed new replacement for Tees Valley Regeneration.. will be here to spend
spend spend.. with jobs for the boys Tees Valley Unlimited will
undertake to waste more Tax Payers money.. than any prior local Quango on Teesside.. waste waste waste without any real consultation or agreement of local people..
will be the basis of the foundation of Tees Valley Unlimited.. using Tax Payers
cash of course.. listen
to the new Middlesbrough People Protest song by clicking -
Here
Tees Valley Rail
Light Rail system proposed for Tees Valley.. that is once the location
of Tees Valley is agreed.. the new Tees Valley Light Rail Metro system will knock light
years off journey times.. at least 20 light years is envisaged to
the planet Zargon.. from where those with these ideas and plans live.. and at
least 10 light years journey time saved to Cloud Cuckoo Land.. where the planners
think the people live.. concerned residents of Redcar who worry as to how they
would negotiate the new Tees Valley Light Rail Metro system are expected to be given
previews of the new Light Rail track way route.. Redcar vehicle owners need not
have doubts or be concerned over access issues.. plans are well under way to provide
facilities of access for vehicles on the coastal side of the newly proposed Tees
Valley Light Rail Metro system.. envisaged is a new Passenger and Car Ferry link service facility
based at the Coatham Sands complex.. once up and running a weekly
service is planned that will connect with a new South Bank Passenger Ferry Terminal
proposed to be built in the area the older South Bank Terraced housing once stood.. trips around the proposed off shore Wind Farm are envisaged.. if the demand for
this service warrants more investment
Tees Valley Unlimited propose to finance this by selling off all the land.. under
Redcar's Terraced Housing stock.. valuable
lessons have been learnt by MBC's Executive sell off of land in Middlesbrough..
to facilitate the need for extra passenger rail traffic along the Tees Valley Light
Rail Metro system.. the present freight train
services will be suspended.. all rail freight in future will be sent by a new Australian style Road Train.. Potash, Chemicals,
Iron, Steel and Refugees.. including all residents deposed of property assets.. who would not be able to afford to use the Passenger
Boat Ferry Service.. or TVLRM system will in future travel
this way in Tees Valley..
the new Road Trains will have roof top facilities for foot
passengers to hang onto.. Tees Valley Regeneration say WELCOME to the new Tees Valley.. our supporters also say.. WELL-COME to Teesside to be DONE.. because the people of Teesside
have been.. and
will continue to be.. WELL DONE..
Tees Valley Railway
Tees Valley Unlimited (TVU) aka Tees Valley Regeneration (TVR) are expected to announce
new Tees Valley Light Rail Metro (TVLRM) developments shortly.. the anticipated
route for the new TVLRM after a long careful and meaningful Peoples consultation
lasting around several minutes.. the new Light Rail route is expected to be located
directly on top of the original.. Teessider's who have used this route in the past
agree this is cause for grave concern.. regarding issues of ease of access and the fact the present
Rail route.. is regarded to be located along it's entire length
in a barren and wild wilderness.. Teessider's therefore believe TVU / TVR are about to announce the opening
of a new regional office located in Tibet.. this is widely believed to be an attempt
to gain help advice and support from that region.. Tibetan monks are expected to
be employed to assist in the levitation of this new grand plan of the TVLRM system..
other aspects being considered are... the employment of Himalayan Sherpa's as baggage handlers.. detachments of Ghurkhas to patrol and protect the routes to and
from the rail track.. it remains unclear at the moment..
if teams of Arabian Camel herders
will be employed to transport passengers and goods between the nearest areas of
civilisation and the rail track.. Sheik Alibaba was invited some time ago to Middlesbrough
Middlehaven to oversee and fund these developments..
but he has since declined
to be involved.. although it is widely believed by people living on Teesside..
the party contingent of 40 thieves.. whose numbers appear to be dwindling fast..
are still very active in the area..
Middlesbrough Ray Mallon
Middlesbrough new litter cleansing program?..
I can see you, Citizen Smith.. CCTV cameras that shout at you? All very well, but I have a much scarier idea. Trust me, (Mallon quote?)
you'll love it ..
Charlie Brooker.. Monday April 9, 2007.. The Guardian..
In case you missed it,
last week police in Middlesbrough unveiled a startling new weapon in the ongoing war against crime:
CCTV cameras that shout at you whenever you do something wrong.
Currently, they are chiefly used to warn drunken revellers hell-bent on stealing traffic cones,
or to dish out virtual bollockings to litterbugs.
"Respect tsar" Louise Casey says it "nips problems in the bud",
while home secretary John Reid praised the scheme on the grounds that rather than being "secret surveillance",
it was "very public", and most importantly, "interactive".
Of course, the word "interactive" is regularly wheeled out to make any old bullshit sound exciting and modern.
Hey, it's not a humiliating infringement of civil liberties - it's interactive!
You, know - a bit of democratic fun, just like The X Factor or MySpace! Woo hoo!
Now put that in the bin or I'll blow your head off.
There are two major problems with justifying the bellowing CCTV cameras
on the grounds that they're "interactive". Firstly, just because something's "interactive",
that doesn't automatically make it right. Coprophilia is interactive, and that doesn't belong in the street either.
Secondly, they're not interactive at all. They're faceless electronic scrutinisers that scream when you break the rules.
What John Reid has done here is confuse the word "interactive" with the word "nightmarish".
And wait, it gets worse. As if the scheme wasn't already unsettling enough, according to news reports,
"children's voices are to be used initially to make the encounter less confrontational".
This would be a brilliantly disturbing twist in a dystopian sci-fi movie in which the traditional adult-child relationship
has been thrown into reverse, and misbehaving grownups are publicly scolded by eerie,
disembodied infant voices, but unfortunately it's not happening in a dystopian sci-fi movie at all,
but in Middlesborough. And, later this year, in Southwark, Barking and Dagenham,
Reading, Harlow, Norwich, Ipswich, Plymouth, Gloucester, Derby, Northampton,
Mansfield, Nottingham, Coventry, Sandwell, Wirral, Blackpool,
Salford, South Tyneside and Darlington.
Incidentally, it's not yet clear whether the children's voices will address miscreants
using formal language ("Attention, citizen: you are committing a felony;
you have 20 seconds to desist") or in "kid speak"
"You're a bad man and I'm telling on you and my dad's going to tear your head off").
Perhaps they could also allow kids to control the cameras and decide what constitutes a crime.
And, rather than mounting the cameras on poles,
why not make them mobile and more kid-friendly by placing them inside full-size, remote-controlled Daleks,
which can patrol the streets dishing out near-fatal electric shocks to those who disobey?
Actually, using the Daleks would be a masterstroke.
Everyone loves Doctor Who - who wouldn't be thrilled by the sight of a real-life Dalek squadron rolling down the high street,
glinting in the sun? The sheer excitement would genuinely make the accompanying loss of liberty seem worthwhile.
To liven things up even more, our rasping pepperpot overlords could be colour-coded.
Blue Daleks would deal with minor infractions,
and would spend most of their time issuing warnings
and administering minor shocks - but they'd also be chummy and approachable,
and willing to pose for photographs with your nephew.
Red Daleks, on the other hand, would be emotionless killing machines.
Imagine the atmosphere outside a pub on a hot summer's day:
a Red Dalek trundles past, and the convivial hubbub suddenly fades to a whisper.
Everyone stiffens. And then he turns the corner and a communal sigh of relief goes up,
and the drinking continues and the jukebox plays louder and louder ... community spirit lives again.
Admit it: it'd be fantastic.
Of course, to maximise the psychological impact of the Red Daleks,
they'd have to be fewer in number than the Blues. Ten per citizen, tops.
If anyone from the Home Office is reading this, incidentally,
it's absolutely imperative that you license the actual,
100% official, BBC Daleks, as seen on TV.
Don't just try to create some sort of rip-off close-as-dammit lookalike
and hope we'll start calling them "Daleks".
We're not idiots. And if you draw a blank with Terry Nation's estate,
don't bother negotiating for the rights to the Cybermen instead.
It won't be the same. Daleks or nothing.
Pull that off and I guarantee we'll willingly accept it.
Even Shami Chakrabarti, denouncing the plan on Question Time,
would have to start her complaint by saying,
"Obviously I love the idea of Daleks as much as anyone, but ...
So come on, Reid. Stop pissing about with twittering cameras on sticks.
The technology for an army of wirelessly controlled mobile CCTV spybots already exists - and it's interactive.
There's nothing stopping you. Show some balls for once in your poxy life. Give us the Daleks.
What's New in Mbro
New Visions... New Disasters... demolish all then wait 20 years for the Toxic Chemicals
to soak into the earth as was done in the Middlesbrough Dock area..
click to view the... Tees Toxins Reports
and Radioactive Spoil Reports.
Middlesbrough... What's Up Lately... More To The Point... What's Down?
Major plans are soon to be underway to employ ex Durham Coal and Cleveland Iron
Stone workers, Tees Valley Unlimited intend to collect the "spoil" from the new
mine workings to re-site both north and south of the river Tees. It's estimated
millions of cubic metres of "spoil" will be needed to be placed along the top of
Eston Hills from Saltburn in the east to Croft on Tees in the west. North of the
River Tees a new mountain range will be built from Crimdon Dene Hartlepool in the
East to Staindrop in the West.
Once completed these North and South of the river Tees Mountain Ranges are expected
to attract world famous botanists, climbers and explorers, near to the mouth of
the Tees a new Dam construction is envisaged once completed Seal Sands will become
the centre of a new water sports complex, the Nuclear Power Station building roof
due to it's ability to glow in the dark will be used as a new 24 hour launch point
for pleasure craft and the many Oil Refinery storage tanks will become berthing
places.
The river Tees at this point is expected to be around 20 ft deeper than present,
the new Lakeside frontage in the South East will stretch from the proposed new Coatham
Redcar Majuba Sands Sports Housing complex this new Coatham Redcar "Sands"
complex is not believed to be connected with the world famous Sands Hotel Group.
Tees Valley Lake South East will start near Coatham Redcar in the East coming in
a Westerly direction following close to the route of the A174 then continue along
the route of the B1264 towards Kirkleavington and Picton. The South Westerly Tees
Valley Lake foreshore will swing North at Neasham close to Darlington continuing
on past Redmarshall and Thorpe Theweles before joining the route of the A689 towards
the Hartlepool coast this will be the North East end of the Tees Valley Lake.
Tees Valley Unlimited hope for inward investment by Sir Richard Branson owner of
the Grathorne Hall Hotel which will now take pride of place on the South West foreshore
of the new Tees Valley Lake unfortunately the flooding of the Western part of the
Lake will cover the Durham Tees Valley International Airport site which due to it's
prior lack of worthwhile use... the creation of the Tees Valley Lake would allow conversion
into a Seaplane Aerodrome facilities may also be provided for Boating Surfing Diving Fishing. Trips by Seaplane around the Tees Valley Lake and Mountain Ranges
are envisaged.
Hugh Grant the famous actor is hoped to be employed to supervise this massive engineering
undertaking which should be amongst the biggest civil engineering projects the world
has ever seen and maybe once completed ranked as the eighth wonder of the world.
The plan is expected to create work for thousands of people, it was hoped to utilise
the newly built Middlesbrough China Town for the mass influx of cheap labour, but
apparently the Chinese are too busy creating the worlds biggest dam. Tees Valley
Unlimited are now expected to utilise the mass influx of cheap labour these past
few years of Polish and East European workers along with the many refugees now living
on Teesside.
Once constructed the new Dam across the mouth of the River Tees will provide the
new roadway South North link of Tees Valley in the East, a lock system will be provided
allowing access into the new Tees Valley Lake area for Merchant Shipping and pleasure
craft. The fees for using this facility are hoped to offset construction costs but
a new floating casino complex is envisaged using the laid up Tuxedo Royale coupled
with the ex USA Navy Ships docked at present at the Graythorpe Construction yard
the exact location where these will be berthed is yet to be decided.
Before the flooding of the Tees Valley commences experts from around the world are
to be invited to Middlesbrough to tender for works of the undercutting of Middlesbrough
Town Hall foundations for the insertion of oil rig platform transport barges.
This in turn will allow Middlesbrough Town Hall to ebb and flow on tides and any
unforeseen future floods. The same procedures may if costs allow be made for the
MIMA and new water fountain feature if carried out this would be a worlds first
in having a floating water fountain feature.
If the "floating" of Middlesbrough Town Hall is successful the ground floors and
basements of Centre North East, Cleveland, Hill Street and James Cook Square shopping
centres will be filled with concrete, upper floors being converted into shopping
areas with boat berthing facilities, the roof top car parks will be utilised as
"Boat Bilge" sales, a modification on the present Car Boot sales. Tenders will be
invited for the provision of floating Kebab, Pizza and Charity Shop facilities.
Policing Public Safety are to be kept at the current level, to achieve this
same level of response times for requests of Police attendance, Cleveland Police
will be provided with one of the latest in design Rowing Boats, the new Cleveland
Police Logo is thought to include crossed truncheons over a picture of the Titanic
and to induce support from younger members of society the new Police theme song
is expected to be the old children's favourite, Row Row Row Your Boat.
A competition is to be announced shortly for suggestions as too appropriate names
and theme songs for the new Cleveland Tees Valley Water Police, prizes include involvement
in Search and Rescue exercises to help the Force maintain equipment.
Lucky winners will participate in search and rescue missions and will be taken to
the Tees Valley Mountain Ranges and Lake to be left at the new Tees Valley Police
Boot Camp "Granada" for the customary two weeks or so whilst the Tees Valley Police
Force decide to attempt a rescue or not.
The latest suggestion for the new Tees Valley Police Boot Camp Granada theme song
can be listened to by clicking here...
Tees Valley Boot Camp
Theme
Welcome to Tees Valley central at Middlesbrough a young Town with a New Vision.